So I got a stupid spam message on an old journal entry from 2001, and of course it was terrible and lame. So I spent AN HOUR going back and reading them.
Oh my God.
Why was I allowed to be such a fucking nerd? Also, Katie was right, shaving my head would have accentuated my pig nose and double chin so it was a totally great idea to shoot down. Thanks for that, even though you were pissed off at me for being a shitty boyfriend.
By and large, I am embarrassed by myself from the ages of 19-25. I was stupid and immature and whiny. I was a sheltered weird fat kid stretching too far. I won't delete them because of this. I need to be reminded occasionally of how far I've managed to stumble on my own.
I'm mostly better now at almost 30. Mostly. I'm not as mushy cuddly and angsty as I used to be, and I'm more cynical. I've re-appropriated my belief in the world into belief in my kid as the future Emperor of Awesome. I lack a filter for appropriate humor more than ever, apparently, as I made Anna hate my guts because I made jokes about the crazy fucking tire that shot into her windshield (but did not kill her miraculously). But people, you must understand, she fucking posted a Dane Cook joke about a tire in a face right after it happened. WHEN ELSE IN LIFE DOES DANE COOK NOT GIVE A PERSON THE RIGHT TO TELL AWFUL JOKES?!
Having a real life makes you too busy to talk about trivial shit all the time mostly, and that's the real irony. When you actually have things you can Doogie Howser MD the shit out of, you're too busy doing those things to sit down in front of your computing machine and type them up for the internets. It's a shame.